Hinged
The most important people in your life are the ones you choose. Not the ones you were born with, born into, or the ones you birth. Those people matter, yes. But when you choose someone, you call all the shots. Nature didn’t just hand them to you.
I had my wedding celebration over the weekend — we actually got married in January in Denmark. A sort of elopement that everyone knew about.
My husband is the most devoted person to me, ever. He has single-handedly taught me what love is and what love should look like. In his own words, “I worship you.” The first time he said that, I was taken aback. No one had ever said that to me before. But that is exactly how he loves me. Like I am a goddess.
I remember it being so hard at first to accept his love, especially from this German man. I was scared af. But over time, I learned to just bask in it.
Our wedding day started with chaos. Our makeup artist delayed the entire schedule by over an hour. Our decorator went back on parts of our agreement. There were moments where I’d have fully panicked, but he was just there, reassuring me constantly, his words, his presence, his calm.
And when it was all over, all he wanted to do was dance with me all night. I felt like I was the only person in the room for him. We could have done that wedding with just the two of us, and it would have been enough.
In my wedding note to him, I wrote: “You tell me you love me like 50 times a day.” I’m not exaggerating much. He really does.
I did make a good choice. Not just of my husband, but of his family, who have wrapped me in their warmth as if I’ve always been theirs. My sister and mother only met him recently, and even they see it. He has made my family feel so comfortable, doing everything to make their stay pleasant. The people I was born with can see what I chose. My mother-in-law pulled me aside and said, “Du hast eine gute Wahl getroffen” — you made a good choice. I totally agree.
I’ll dedicate a whole post to my mother-in-law, but my gosh, that woman loves me. I can feel it. And she says it. My father-in-law doesn’t say it (he’s a man of few words), but his actions are loud.
Now, how did we get here? We met on Hinge. Our first date was at a bar called Die Beste Bar. Cheap drinks. He spent the whole night trying to get me to sit closer to him, and I didn’t pick up a single signal. I’m neurodivergent, please 😅. He was already sitting on a settee diagonal from my sofa chair and said, “Do you want to come over here, it’s more comfy.” I said, “Oh, I’m really comfy here, actually.” Completely missed it. And then at the end of the night, I was the one who kissed him first. Make it make sense.
I’m a tough woman. But I can melt in his arms. I have never been more myself than with him. I feel whole. I don’t need to mask.
Our wedding officiant really got it right. Our love is like a hinge, two separate pieces working together because they want to, but still individual enough to make their own movement. Not fused.
I am loved. I am happy. I am cared for.
congratulations!